Better Together

Updates!

jenndonahoe — Sat, 18 Jul 2009 04:52:18 +0000

Hi all! Joe and I are busily preparing for our big day, which is a little more than two months away!

We had a blast in Mexico with folks from the Patio! It was a nice break from wedding planning and work!

I had my bridal portraits on Tuesday (7/14). I took them outside at the Greensboro Arboretum, so I’m sure with the gorgeous flowers and the sun behind me, that the pictures are going to turn out great!

Joe and I have our first wedding shower this weekend in Virginia at the church he was previously attending. It will be fun to spend time with his family and friends!! It will also be fun to start opening presents that are for OUR life together, starting on September 19, 2009!

We’ll try to update the blog again as soon as we can. We hope to blog about our vendors (photographer, florist, etc) at later date.

95 days!

jenndonahoe — Tue, 16 Jun 2009 14:01:59 +0000

Hello to you all! As you might have guessed, Joe and I are quite busy with wedding planning, growing closer together as a couple and general life stuff, so we haven’t blogged in over a month! I just couldn’t wait any longer, so I figured I’d write something!

Our wedding plans are moving along. I believe the “big” items, except one, are pretty much taken care of. We’re trying to go for a simple but elegant wedding and reception, but still the cost is mind-blowing!

Joe and I are continuing on our path towards a Godly marriage. At times it has been hard, and I am sure that there will continue to be times like these. But with God’s help and the love of each other we will make it through and continue to grow closer together as the months and years go by.

This summer is going to be fun, but busy! I’m sure it will pass by before we even know it! September 19 is right around the corner!

Update

jenndonahoe — Thu, 07 May 2009 17:08:39 +0000

Hello all!! It’s been a while since Joe or I have posted on the blog! We’ve been busy with numerous things. I thought I would give a quick update to let everyone know what’s going on.

We are pretty much on track with wedding details. There are a few areas still in process, that need to be completed sooner rather than later, like sending out more “Save the Dates” and finalizing our guest list for the wedding.

I really liked a response Joe gave to his Mom when she asked us if all we talk about is wedding stuff. He said “No, we’re trying to build our relationship. The wedding is only one day. We don’t want 50 years of hell after that.” I do agree. We are working to build our relationship that is on track to marriage on a godly foundation that will help it to last “til death do us part”.

We are also trying to prepare for a missions trip to Mexico that will be from July 4-11th. We are also attending three weddings before our September wedding. We have a busy summer planned!!

Communication and more communication

jenndonahoe — Mon, 13 Apr 2009 18:35:50 +0000

Communication was what I wrote about in my last blog post but it continues to come up in almost everything I’ve been reading about marriage. I’m really loving Gary Thomas’s book “Sacred Marriage” of which I’ve spoken about before. As I read more of the book I’m finding our more of the need for good honest and open communication in the marriage relationship. Joe and I are definitely starting that now and we know that we will by no means be perfect at it ever, but as we continue to try and press on we can communicate better.

In the latest chapter I have read Thomas talks of the importance of not just treating your spouse nicely, but moving towards our spouse in several areas, one being open communication. He speaks of “moving towards” our spouse, future spouse in my case, as being an act, something that we have to consciously do. This doesn’t happen by osmosis! We can’t just sit around on the couch watching television or silently being mad at our partner (which I am guilty of at times) and think things will change themselves.

I guess when I read about communication and actually just reading this book I think of the hard work, but rewarding work our marriage is going to be. It isn’t always going to be a “bed of roses” or a time of ecstasy. There will be disagreements, conflict, tears and of course laughter. It’s how we relate to each other through these times that shows us how good we’re doing in our relationship or what we really need to work on in order to keep the marriage moving forward, and bringing glory to God.

I’m thankful, and I know Joe is too, for all the wonderful people who are encouraging us and helping us to start our marriage off right, but helping us even before we are actually husband and wife. The foundation is being laid for a marriage that glorifies God and honors one another. What more could we ask for?

Oh Yeah, That Stuff

joedonahoe — Thu, 02 Apr 2009 17:58:21 +0000

Since I popped the question almost two months ago, the wedding plans have been trucking along. Jenn and I have figured out the “when” and “where”, we’ve almost figured out the “who”, and we’re making progress on the “how” and “what”. Also, we’ve made our first joint furniture purchase (patio furniture). Finally, every conversation is started off by talking about something wedding-related.

And we haven’t been on a real date in ages.

Granted, the opposing work schedules and my financial recovery from the ring purchase haven’t helped. But, lately, a “date night” for us has involved one or more of the following:
1. Making Dinner
2. Walking the Dogs
3. Cleaning the House
4. Reading in Separate Rooms
5. Watching “No Reservations with Anthony Bourdain”
6. Addressing Save-the-Dates
7. Registry Shopping
8. Babysitting Nolan*

Not that these aren’t important, but things are getting a little lame. So, this weekend, we’re going to dinner at a nice restaurant, and we’re going to see the Greensboro Symphony. I think the last time we had a dress-and-suit date was in December.

Hopefully, this will get some excitement back into the relationship. While we don’t need to get dolled up every weekend, Jenn and I do need to be mindful of when things are getting slow.

* Nolan is Pastor Mike’s kid. Mike’s blog is our one-and-only link. While Nolan is infinitely entertaining, it’s not the most romantic Saturday night. But, if Mike gets some new Veggie Tales DVD’s, we may be enticed…

Thoughts

jenndonahoe — Wed, 25 Mar 2009 19:50:09 +0000

The blog hasn’t been updated in a few weeks, so I figured I would post some thoughts!

The wedding planning is coming along well. I feel for the wedding being a little less than six months away, that our progress is phenomenal.

Our second pre-marital counseling session with Mike went well. The theme of this session was communication. Both Joe and I feel that we communicate pretty well. Well since Friday my feelings have changed somewhat as I have reflected on my thoughts and things I have left unspoken. I know Joe is to be trusted with anything I say, so I’m praying for help in the area of opening up more to him. It’s quite important in a marriage and our relationship now needs openness as well!

Today marks seven months since Joe and I met in person! That first meeting, filled with anxiety and the unknown seems like such a long time ago. How far we have come since then and how amazing it is to look back on that rainy day and know that’s when it truly started.

Preparing for Marriage

jenndonahoe — Tue, 10 Mar 2009 13:38:03 +0000

Joe and I had our first pre-marital counseling session with Joe’s pastor, Mike, a couple of weeks ago. He had some really good questions to ask us. He also gave us an assignment. We are to read “Sacred Marriage” by Gary Thomas. Joe and I have already started this. I believe this book is going to be a great book, especially for me. Gary speaks that we can’t be fulfilled by another person, or the marriage. Our fulfillment has to first come from God alone, or else when we get upset or tired of our mate we will just quit the marriage for something new. This has given me new cause (as if I needed another reason) to praise God. He allowed me eight years of singleness (at the time I thought He was being mean) to get me focused on Him as my one true love. That in itself brings me to something I learned when I was little. A smart woman I looked up to once told me that when she was dating her husband she had to let him know right away that he could not be her first love, God was number one and there was no changing it! I’ve told Joe this also. God is where I get my joy and life. Joe is wonderful, but he cannot give me life or sustain me. He can surely, and does, love me and care for me.

The book has also made me think about bringing glory to God in all I do. Our marriage should first and foremost bring HIM glory. It should be an example and a light to those around us of God’s great love and the ministry of reconciliation to help keep us together through difficulties, trials and the day to day monotony that can sometimes drive couples apart.

God is most definitely preparing us for marriage, with this book, but also through our living right now. Joe and I spend as much time together as we can. I love to cook for him, and he loves to eat. Also, just in the past month, we have learned that we can do nothing with each other and it’s not weird. For instance, a few weeks ago we has some “quiet time” during an afternoon where we took about 30 minutes and each read. We can go walking around the neighborhood and just walk, talking is not necessary all the time. Silence isn’t necessarily a bad thing.

I’m so glad God is giving us these opportunities now. He is preparing us for what is coming. It is going to be a great partnership with each other and with God. I know He is blessing us now and will continue to bless us when we are married.

Dating/Courtship

jenndonahoe — Wed, 04 Mar 2009 17:59:35 +0000

I had not dated since the year 2000 when Joe and I were matched on eharmony. I had met one guy on eharmony for lunch and also emailed back and forth with a couple. None of these guys seemed like the one God had called me to be with. And yes, I feel that God had called me to marriage and is calling me, I just didn’t have the guy to fill the husband role!

My Pastor had taught us singles a class a few years ago about courtship, pulling the majority of his teaching from Josh Harris’s book “Boy Meets Girl: A Biblical Guide to Courtship”. I totally agreed with him on the point of not dating just to date (as Joe has said) but dating with a purpose.

I wouldn’t say I was content being single, but I was handling it, with God’s help, and didn’t mind the fact that I didn’t have a boyfriend. I had seen friends and their so-called “boyfriends” Some of them were not treated well and I wanted none of that. I was waiting for a guy that saw me for me; this bubbly, silly lover of God who wants to do HIS will.

I had no idea that eight years after my last “boyfriend” and almost two years after starting eharmony that I would find the man of my dreams. Joe, who is not who I had pictured myself with, but who I now know is my perfect match! God knows what I need, way better than I know, and it’s this bearded, green-eyed, organized, somewhat perfectionist who longs to reach out more to his community with God’s love. I am ready to team up with him to do what God wants us to do!

The Purpose

joedonahoe — Tue, 24 Feb 2009 04:27:51 +0000

When Jenn and I met in August, we did so with a definite purpose in mind. We wanted to find a husband/wife. Neither of us were big fans of “dating for fun”. Jenn had been a big fan of Josh Harris’ writings, and I agreed with a lot of his ideas. With our own decided purposes in mind, we had a very specific direction. That drove a lot of the dating (or “courtship” to the Harris fans) process.

However, a different sort of purpose started to appear in the last couple of months. This new purpose is not ours. This purpose is pushing us into new ways of thinking about home, family, and church. It feels like we are simply pushing a sailboat out of the harbor into the seas, and now there is something propelling us through the ocean. The speed and direction of our relationship is no longer under our control. If we’re prepared to stay on the boat and commit to this relationship, then we’re going to go to places we never imagined.

Jenn and I believe this purpose is God’s purpose. It is difficult to measure and quantify this purpose to describe to the non-believer that it is God’s purpose. It just feels that way. There have been so many intersections and agreements while our own short-sighted assumptions about relationships have been erased.

So here we go. With a wind in our sails. We can’t say where we’re going, we just know we’re going together.

The Way We Met

jenndonahoe — Thu, 19 Feb 2009 13:38:27 +0000

As Joe has posted, we met on eharmony. Both he and I had been on eharmony for a while before we were matched. I had really strict match guidelines, so I think that’s one reason it took almost two years on eharmony for me to get matched with the man I am going to spend the rest of my life with.

We were matched on August 17, 2008. At first I wasn’t too interested. I thought that since he was from Greensboro and he wanted to start communiciation that I would then go forward. I’m a very traditional girl, and try to take many of my dating cues from my pastor and Josh Harris who wrote “Boy Meets Girl: A Biblical Guide to Courtship”. Both of these fine gentleman said that it was the man’s responsibility to inititate a relationship with a lady. So I put that at the bottom of my eharmony profile, for all my matches to see. Evidentally Joe saw it and decided to pursue me all the more!

We communicated via eharmony for a few days then decided to meet up for coffee on August 25, 2008. We met at Starbucks. It was raining and I had managed to burn my arm ironing my shirt! I intentionally made sure I was right on time, or a few minutes late, since I’m usually early to everything. I wanted to make a grand entrance! He was there when I arrived, decked out in a white Oxford shirt, khakis and a BEARD! I had seen pics of him on eharmony, but his main pic was him with NO BEARD! At first this really was bothersome, because I never thought I would like a guy with facial hair. But I went on ahead with our meeting and we had a great time. We talked for quite a while and enjoyed ourselves. I gave him my phone number and the rest is history, or we’re going to make it history!